Being named one of Canada’s Top Fitness Instructors was an honour and privilege I will forever cherish, and it couldn’t have come at a more meaningful time. That call from Elaine Kupser came just as I was navigating one of the darkest moments of my life. In that split second, everything I had worked on—my yoga studies, my personal growth, and the relentless effort I poured into my journey—came together to anchor me in that polarizing moment.
The morning I received the call from IMPACT Magazine remains etched in my memory. It was December, 2022 and I was visiting family in Las Vegas. Cozy on my niece’s big couch, wrapped in a soft throw, I was taking a moment to process my emotions. Life, as it often does, had handed me a mix of joy and sorrow.
That morning, I had just confirmed the reality of symptoms I’d been dreading: I was going through a miscarriage. It’s strange how life’s pivotal moments collide. As I sat there, trying to make sense of my emotions, the phone rang.
“Hi Kaye, this is Elaine from IMPACT Magazine…” Cue tears of joy. I will never forget the surge of light that brightened what could have been a profoundly dark day.
Three weeks earlier, my period was late. At 44, I knew the chances of pregnancy were slim, and I wondered if menopause might be the explanation. To ease my mind, I bought two pregnancy tests. The first showed a faint line. By morning, two clear lines confirmed it: I was pregnant. Overwhelmed with emotion, I shared the news with my cousin, my niece, and a close friend. There was joy, but also the quiet awareness of how fragile this moment was.
Travelling to Las Vegas for the holidays, I carried this little miracle with me. Sitting beside my parents on the plane, I felt a quiet elation. A week into the trip, things took an unexpected turn.
It felt as though my water broke, and I realized I was losing the baby. My best friend’s words echoed in my mind: “Kaye, no one tells you that when you go through a miscarriage, your body still goes through labour.”
Over the next nine days, I felt each symptom fade away. On Christmas Day, the loss became undeniable. Amid this sadness, the call from Elaine reminded me of life’s duality. Pain and joy can coexist, and both deserve space.
This recognition by IMPACT Magazine was more than just an award; it was a beacon of hope, a symbol of resilience, and a reminder that light can pierce even the darkest moments.
I share this story to normalize conversations around miscarriages and to remind anyone experiencing loss that it’s okay to feel joy amidst sorrow. Embrace every emotion—the pain, the joy, the gratitude—because they are all part of the gift of life.
Thank you to the entire IMPACT Magazine team, for recognizing the work we do as fitness professionals and for giving us a platform to share our passions. Your “impact” is profound and far-reaching.
Photography by Pascal Lee
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